My Dears I’m absolutely sure that you experienced rebound relationship at least once in life. Did you? I’m presenting you the story our loyal reader Sarah Williams. Let me know do you agree with her :-)? Therefore enjoy in reading and I hope you will exclamations lesson from this ;-).
“I had a dream once that I amended all of my past relationships. One by one, my exes approached me and together, we spent a few seconds hashing out our problems before magically getting “back together” without even attempting to solve them. By the time I woke up, I was dating all of my exes, all at the same time!
While polygamy might seem like a dream, it’s a nightmare with the five men you made a conscious decision to break up with.
And do you know what’s an even bigger nightmare? Doing it in real life. I wasn’t seeing all of my ex-boyfriends, but I was dating one of them and that was bad enough.
We take drastic measures in the midst of a rebound. Some people go to the gym to get super toned and sexy, other people call their ex. I just so happen to be the latter. But I’ll never do it again. No good can come from a rebound relationship, especially with an ex, and here are five reasons why.
1. It’s not about wanting, it’s about needing
When you jump from one relationship to another, the connection doesn’t grow out of pure interest. It grows out of need. What do you need to fill the hole of your last, failed relationship? Not another person to add to your mess, especially not another person you dated in the past. That’s not fair to them or to you. You need time for yourself, time to reflect.
2. You bring baggage
It’s normal to have a couple of skeletons in your closet; it’s not normal to have a body that was alive and breathing a couple minutes ago. In other words, ending a relationship on Monday and starting one on Friday isn’t the neatest way to plan the week. Bringing baggage into a new relationship or, in my case, back into an old relationship, sets it up to fail. You should always start with a clean slate. If you decide to give your ex another shot, you need to discuss the problems you had and propose practical solutions before moving forward.
3. Your current partner will feel inadequate
If you’re honest about your last relationship with your new partner, it’s only natural for them to compare themselves to your ex. If it was a long relationship, they will question what exactly went wrong and worry that at any moment you might change your mind. They will also wonder about your intentions. What are you doing in a new relationship so soon? These are questions that you should ask yourself, as well.
4. You’re looking for attention, not affection
Rebound relationships make us feel good because of the attention they give us, the same attention we stopped getting from our exes. We often fall back into old relationships because the feelings were already there before. There is an instant gratification in it. But you have to remember that it didn’t work for a reason. Perhaps the affection was not enough.
5. It is a distraction that will pass
When I rebounded with my ex, it wasn’t because I had missed him. I just needed a distraction from the mess I had become after my more recent breakup. It worked for a little while; but eventually I realized that dating an old ex wasn’t healing my new pain. I ended up breaking his heart for the second time.
When we rebound, we only think about ourselves. We need to remember that there’s another person in the equation. We need to take things slower and be more cautious of all the hearts involved.”
Sarah Williams is a full-time dating advisor and lifestyle blogger. She loves motivating people to reach their highest potential. Sarah’s mission is to help busy men and women of all ages create a leaner, sexier, stronger, body and mind. You can connect with Sarah on Wingman Magazine .
Great post Sarah – absolutely spot on advice! I have had a couple of rebound relationships in the past and I will never do it again. You think it is the right thing at the time, it’s fun, it will make you feel better and take your mind off things, but actually I found it just made me feel sad inside. You need to take time to just work on yourself when you have had a break up.