Living in New York City requires you to be attached by umbilical cord to your phone.
First of all, it gives you the opportunity to talk to your friends any time and anywhere, not to miss their calls or messages, it gives you opportunity to attend a business meeting without actually having to be there, it gives you an update about your favorite topic or news. Most important, it gives you that warm, butterfly feeling when you see someone’s name on the screen…calling YOU! But, what happens if that call never comes?
My dear ones, last week I met up with a girlfriend, who I haven’t seen for a few months. I asked her what it’s new and if she’s back to work, since she had a serious health condition that, thank God, went away. She’s a model. We started chatting about our girl’s stuff and problems… MEN.
I told her that I’m dating one guy, who is financial analyst, lives in Midtown, NYC, super cool and handsome, but always so busy to see me and working all the time, but you know… we are in touch all the time! On the phone!
She told me her story too. She was dating some lawyer, who was in his 30ies, very successful, mature, very handsome guy.
“Why is the verb in the past?” – I asked her.
“Well“, she told me: “He told me he’s going for a vacation in Turkey and that he will call me when he gets back but he never did.“
Shocked as I must have looked at that moment, I managed to form a consolation question:
“Why didn’t you call him?“ She looked at me with her big brown eyes and said:
“Sanya, why would I call him? I did nothing wrong!”
I was still in shock, but this time by her pride, confidence and intelligence…cause I’ve just realize how stupid that question sounded. Me, open-heart and naive Santa’s little helper was still trying to consolidate my friend and find a reason why he didn’t called her. I would think the problem is in me, something I did he didn’t like it. “Maybe something happened to him? Maybe he was abducted or attacked by some terrorists?” I was looking for an answer, but she didn’t.
She told me: “Sanya, I am from Africa. Women in Africa don’t chase men. If he wanted to call, he would. I did nothing wrong.”
Wow! I was shaken by a magnitude of this woman’s power.
A few weeks later, she was working at Prada fashion shows, shootings and commercials. She lands a cover on a major fashion magazine, in a beautiful yellow swimsuit slicked to her gorgeous tanned body and her hair curled, body curves exposed to the sun rays. She was “The look you can have in 5 weeks!”. True or not (she has been working on that body her whole career), she was supposed to get that warm feeling… the guy’s calls. She saw that familiar name on her screen and she answered.
What did the guy said maybe you’ll ask?
Just as usual and typical sentence for the NYC: “I was busy.”
It’s been a month since he came back from that famous vacation and he didn’t have time to call. She didn’t get that warm feeling and in the meanwhile she had found somebody else.
My question was: Why did he call her now, at the exact same time when she has reached the top of her career? What have changed?
My darlings, I will tell you something: YOU are the same like my friend! You are unique. I know you heard this a lot of times, but as my friend said: you did nothing wrong!
If he doesn’t call you, it’s because of him, not because of you! The truth is that men like women with career! They like seeing the power and leadership in women! They don’t like women not goal-oriented and waiting to just get married. Trust me, if I have learned something from my love experience, especially here in the New York City is: they love when you show them who are the boss in a relationship… and in the bedroom. Men are just little kids, wanting to have all the love from their “mothers” for themselves. If you show them all your love, they’ll take it for granted and forget to give it back. If you show them you have other priorities, their throne will be shaken… and they will fight with every atom of their body and mind just to keep you next to him.
It’s just like with the kids, you have to know to play with them! But, one thing is for sure! Both men and women are attracted to confidence! So, next time when you go on a date with someone, make sure to show him who you are and what are your plans for the future! Let him know that he cannot play with you! Show him your self-confidence and it’s going to be the other way around, he’ll be crazy about you!
My girlfriend – she is happy now with her new man and she never been more successful! She is my muse! Personally, I will never question myself again why “he” didn’t call me. Its not about me, it never is. It’s always about their insecurity!
Like Carrie Bradshaw said: “Men comes and go, relationships fall a part, but true friendships never go out of style!” One thing is for sure: there’s no girl like you. And you will find your happiness. You just have to focus on the right things…of course, surround yourself with the good friends and the puzzle will arrange it self.